100 word challenge… It looked upside down…

Walking home from school,it was dark and pitch black!The moon was like a corpse’s chilling white face lying on the cold,damp floor! I quickened my pace as I knew something was following me… the faster I went,the bigger the shadows became.My heart was pounding through my chest, faster and faster, will I make it home? Why did I take the short cut ? I tripped, ”OH NO”

I stood up as fast as I could and sprinted, ”GGGGRRRR,GGGGRRRR,GGGGRRRR!” i’m sure I heard a noise.

As I passed the tree I turned around it looked upside down, I could see it’s glaring green eyes.IT’S A CAT!

8 thoughts on “100 word challenge… It looked upside down…

  1. Well done Max! I loved your twist at the end. I also really liked your use of short, snappy sentences. this is an excellent piece of writing. I hope you keep entering the 100WC. From Miss Gardner

  2. You had me on the edge of my seat! Love the description of the moon to add more scare to the story. Keep up the writing, well done!!
    G & G Joe

  3. hello I like this piece of writing and thought it was quite action packed!!!!!

  4. Dear writer that was a good story but next time can you please put a little bit more info looking ford to seaing your writing again.


  5. Hello Max,

    You have been able to capture the imagination of the reader from the outset. Your use of simile in your second sentence to compare the moon to “a corpse’s chilling white face lying on the cold, damp floor” is excellent. We know the story is dealing with fear and the imagination going with it. 🙂

    I like your twist at the end of the story. Of all the possible monsters and ghouls there might have been lurking about on a pitch black night, your creature turns out to be a cat. Well done. 🙂

    Have you taken the opportunity to visit the entries of students from other schools? It is interesting to see how others have approached the prompt. Don’t forget to leave them a comment if you do visit. 🙂

    I hope you keep entering the 100WC.

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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