The Arrival By Caitlin

The day was a gloomy one. My eyes were filling up with blurry dots and I felt so sad. Was this really what I had chosen for my lifestyle? In reality, my dream was not to go away from my lovely daughter or wife, but in my lifestyle I had to do this. I felt sick. Some people think a nice getaway is good, others have a family. Imagine your daughter having to say goodbye to you without knowing that this was the last time I would be able to hold her, tell her bedtime stories, cuddle her when she was having nightmares: this was my daughters lifestyle which I chosen for her. I smiled and tilted my head, trying to hold back the tears. Angry and disapproved, sad and disgusted, I tried to say goodbye to my wife, but she was almost as angry at me then I was at myself. I didn’t get why I was running away from my family, for a job? She then put her hand in my hand and we said our last goodbyes. This was it. I was going off to fight in the war. And my head was full of stupid things I had done and this was by far the worst.

I was only young and I had a daughter. She is about twelve now and doesn’t even know that I am still on this earth as she probably says goodnight to her new stepdad. She will obviously think that I hated her. I mean in her world. The truth is, I survived the war. I did all the things I was supposed to and got off with a broken knee and awful cuts. I knew that I should have done this in the first place. But I was too ashamed to admit it. I wanted to curl up and tell my daughter that I was back but she would never forgive me, neither would my wife. That day when we said goodbye was the most hardest day of my life, I was in deep shock that my family didn’t love me anymore. I was angry that they didn’t and I was most of all shocked that I had let them go without fighting for forgiveness. I know what your thinking, I had to go off to war. But I didn’t. I had an injury that could make me disabled when I did anything dangerous and I went and did the war. When I said about the broken leg, it was one that would never recover and why? Because I was stupid enough to join the war and my story is the most boring I didn’t even get to do most of the work as my leg would not be able to.

Then one day I ran into the battlefield and yes, it was stupid but I didn’t go to the war for nothing I went to support and give myself to the army. I was a bold proud worker and I didn’t want to be treated otherwise. I was happy almost that I did it. Then the pain sank in. I carried on going though. I was a real fighter and I was not about to give up… Then I kept having flashbacks. About my wife and daughter. I knew this wasn’t the right place or the right time but I had to do this. Not only for myself but for the people in the world. I couldn’t stop thinking about them. It was like I was kind of starstruck about my family that I hadn’t seen in so many years, Then the blur came. I wasn’t thinking about anything else that I had fell to the ground. I couldn’t control my leg. Then the next day I was in the cabins, packing my stuff. The chief had said this was not the right place for me and I knew instantly that he was right. I didn’t want to go but that was only because I didn’t have anywhere to go. I live right round the block from my wife and daughter these days but I never go near them. Because I still have a deep dark secret underneath my skin…